Method of Deceit

Have you ever wondered why words or phrases that are commonly used to describe something are suddenly change but the act, status or procedure remains the same?

What is gained by this action?

Who benefits from the manipulation of terms or definitions?

These are all good questions and we all benefit from understanding the “why” behind the answers. 

This week a news source reported that the Biden administration would be using new terms in the immigration bill being submitted to Congress.  In the article, “the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services acting Director Tracy Renaud recently issued a memo calling for “more inclusive language in the agency’s outreach efforts, internal documents and in overall communication with stakeholders, partners and the general public is another prime example of how groups try and get the apparent approval from others.”  They also reported, “The memo suggests some examples, such as using “undocumented noncitizen” or “undocumented individual” rather than “illegal alien” and “integration or civic integration” instead of “assimilation.”

As my readers know, I am all about finding truthful solutions to our problems; regardless if I like or dislike it personally. I believe that most people want to tell the truth but some will go out of their way to manipulate the language in order to maintain the impression of truth without telling it entirely.  This further acerbates the problems dividing us today; speaking the truth comes with being silenced by the fear of alienating someone while the main-street media and our own government are implicit in assisting in this division.  People and groups are finding creative ways of changing terms or phrases of distasteful topics and positioning these changes as efforts to be “more compassionate and inclusive”.  We went from “abortion rights” to “female reproductive rights”, yet both are inexplicitly tied to the problem of women killing their unborn children.  These efforts do not make a foolish choice wise or make a lie true.  As long as people understand the truth, these deceptive methods do not work but when the messages are delivered repeatedly, in mass public communications, totally out of the original context and when many of whom receive the messages are not educated on the topic; it can and does make all the difference. They know the majority who will hear the messages will not know, understand or care about the topic; then when they follow up with polling to this same specific demographic the numbers will be on their side.  They will then spout, “See, the people agree with us.” but if asked differently, truthfully and with relevant details, the outcome would be the complete opposite.

Unethical, YES but illegal, NO, but still very WRONG!

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”

Solutions Are Never Free

32381172 – problem – idea – solution

Do you ever wonder why you do what you do? 

In your line of work, is there an underlining reason for everything that you do?

Are you passionate about this reason?  

Sure, we all work to provide a product or service that solves a problem for others that they can’t solve on their own.  For a price, businesses will sell you this product or that service to alleviate your problem but accessing some of these products or services requires more than just money.  It might require good health, good character and / or a certain credit rating.  In essence, to be able to solve some problems, you have to be doing the right things before the problem occurs and plan in advance for a future problem.  For some people, this adds another problem to their list of problems that they have to deal with.  Solving some of life’s problems for many can feel overwhelming.  At those times, they need a Solutionary to come to their aid.

A Solutionary, is my term for an ethical “problem-solving” expert with a selfless heart.  They must be viewed as a trustworthy individual so that you are comfortable in their detective work when it comes to knowing all the relevant facts in personal areas of your life, as it pertains to the problem you want them to solve.    

As an example, for the men and women who make their living solving insurance related problems, because they are passionate about what they do, the dichotomy described above can bring a high level of frustration.  In most cases, it is easy to solve a person’s problem when they have the money needed to purchase the solution and they are willing to act now.  It becomes extremely difficult to solve that same problem when there is no money or they are allocating the money to less important things, they are already in poor health or financially ill and on top of that, they believe they are in no hurry.

Believe me when I say, “Money is very rarely the true deterrent when purchasing insurance as a solution to a problem.”  It is likely, a budgeting issue where needed resources are currently being used in less important ways.  It is the Solutionary’s responsibility to bring this to the attention of the client, regardless of the level of discomfort this might entail.  It is the client’s responsibility for their loved ones that should drive the necessary actions to fix the budget as needed.

When the client’s health is already poor or their past actions has injured their character and or their financial health there will be limited recourse available to the Solutionary.  That is why we must all be vigilant in helping one another other to be the best version of our self.  We should each strive to help one another by not being quiet about the ills we see around us.  As a caring society, when we see someone hurting themselves, we must step forward to make them aware that there is a better way.  Yes, they might not listen to one stranger but if the message is carried by many whom they respect, it will eventually be received.   

The most frustrating objection is when the client believes they are in no hurry to act.  This is elevated in the Solutionary’s heart because of the experiences they lived through from those other clients who came to the same realization too late.  Those people whose health was already bad; the man whose debt was out of control, the woman who over indulges with alcohol or medications or the person who smoked cigarettes for twenty years without a problem then was just diagnosed with lung cancer.  These are real people who come to Solutionaries too late but need insurance that all the money in the world cannot buy.

“Live everyday like it really matters, because it truly does.”         

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.

Education through Elevated Character

Zig on Moral Character

There are many facets to leadership but there is only one that anchors the followers or disciples to the leader for a lifetime.  Through years of intense study, tremendous life experiences, and inspirational guidance from trusted mentors I have identify the single most important aspect that every leader needs to embody in order to retain the best of the best over a lifetime.  It is the art of character development.  

It is said that “Education is the useful knowledge that the student learns through the act of being taught by a teacher.”  Nowhere does it say that the lesson has to happen in the classroom, in front of a computer screen or by formal lectures.  The leader must teach their disciples what they need to know to successfully solve their future problems, execute their routine duties effectively and demonstrate, during times of adversity, good character traits built on strong values.  In the absence of these, eventually, another “teacher” will appear; offering the “student” a trusted source of knowledge, delivered with a selfless heart and the moral integrity the original leader did not adequately provide. 

With this truth in mind, to be a great leader, the wise leader must excel in practicing the following three character traits. 

Obedience

First, the wise leader teaches through practicing acts of obedience.  If you notice I did not say, you must teach the student obedience.  A true and wise leader understands that to be a great leader you must first be a great follower.  Your people must observe you being obedient to your leader, the company, your family, to your personal beliefs, and to your value systems.  We have all heard before, you must lead by example and this is true.  However, unwise selfish leaders pick and chooses what examples they wish to follow not realizing that everyone is watching; forming opinions about their character.  Through their actions, everyone they lead will determine if they truly follow the lead set by their own leader.  Have you ever noticed how children can’t wait to reach the age of majority so that they no longer need to obey the rules set by their parents?  This is immature thinking yet many unwise selfish leaders carry on this mindset into their adult life.  It takes a strong, secure, and selfless leader to personify the principle of obedience in their daily life. 

Service

The second trait deals with acts of service to others.  One of my mentors put this lesson into perspective better than anyone else by simply explaining that “If you help enough people get what they want or need, you will always get what you want or need.”  In reflection, are your actions self-centered or altruistic?  Whichever they are, the results of those actions will manifest for the entire world to see.  If you try to teach people what you want them to do for your benefit and not theirs, it will not take long for your disciples to do one of three things.  They will either leave because they know that you only care about yourself, they will adopt your self-centered attitude resulting in their ignoring your needs and those of the clients, or they will stay and contradict your directions in an effort to do what’s right.  For the leader, this rarely ends well, because usually the leader, the followers, and the clients all suffer.  The wise leader looks for ways to serve those they serve.  It is said, “People do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”  It is the wise selfless leader that looks for ways to serve those whom they care about.  People of service will eagerly expand this serving attitude to the community; doing so out of love not out of self-serving motivations.  

Integrity

The final character trait the leader must harness is integrity; practice what you preach.  Too many times struggling leaders will teach in the classroom what they want the disciple to know but when the leader has to apply the same lesson in an actual situation, they choose to do it another way; their way.  This disconnect prompts unwise leader to rationalize to their disciples, “when you have my experience, you can do what I do, until then, just do what I say, not what I do.”  They might not use those exact words; they just allow their actions to do the talking for them.  The wise leader lives their life by applying the integrity test to everything they do; always do the right and just thing, even when no one else is looking.  Integrity is the trust builder of a relationship.  Integrity gives the leader credibility, builds unity and elevates their status in the eyes of those they work with.

Look back over your life.  Think of those wise leaders you had the honor and good fortune to follow.  They were all obedient followers, selfless servant leaders, and people of integrity.  They did not hold formal classes on these principles yet they taught them to everyone by their daily actions and conversation they had with them. They did not compromise their values by ignoring these principles even when they were alone.  Leaders that possess these traits will rarely lose good people because the good people can recognize greatness. 

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, Vice President, The American College of Financial Services and the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”, your source for additional information about the Power of the Wisdom of Three.

Hearing, a Given Sense; Listening, a Powerful Tool

Said, Heard, Listen

I enjoy using your sense of sight as a means to share these articles with you.  It will be your sense of sight that will allow me the ability to share some interesting facts about the art of listening without even using your sense of hearing. 

As with most of our Solutionary tools, we are given the solution for our need to hear from the Power of the Wisdom of Three.  I’m sure my anatomy nerds will already know that our ear, the tool for hearing, has only three bones that aid in the operation of human hearing; the malleus, incus, and stapes bones. They are positioned in a precise manner so that they detect sound waves that our brain then processes.  Our physical sense of hearing is totally involuntary, can even be accidental and totally effortless on our part.

Listening, on the other hand, is much more deliberate, requiring, of course, three things; first, we must choose to do it, the act must be focused and will always be intentional.  Yes, your spouse is correct, when they tell you, that you are choosing not to listen.  When we listen, I mean really listen, our brain must concentrate on the sounds that we are hearing.  This mental process connects with and extends to our other senses as well.  We see, notice and interpret the facial expressions of the speaker, the vibrations from the musical beats of the bass drum causes our body to sway to the rhythm, we might even recall a past memory of a smell, present the first time we heard the words of a marital vow spoken.    

In all the writings that we read, the seminars and meetings we attend, or the videos we consume; the lesson is the same.  To learn the art of listening requires much more than just our ears.  It entails the conscious attention of our entire being; the mind, body, and soul.  It is my belief, that to truly listen one must use their body as the receiver of the messages being delivered, our brain is the instrument used to process the information with the ultimate goal being to derive meaning or the truth from the message, and our soul, the basis of our human morality, to determine the proper reactions, responses and further inquiries that will be needed for understanding.

Our responses will be source of our future decisions.  The decisions we make all have consequences; good or bad, happy or sad, right or wrong.  We cannot control all that we hear, nor should we, but each of us can and does control what we listen to, how we respond, and the decisions we make.     

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”

Wisdom, The True Solution

I was asked this question by a C Suite professional friend of mine: “Why are we, as a society, making fewer wise decisions than ever before?” After pondering this inquiry for a day or two this was my reply.

Picture a field scattered with large bundles of hay each surrounded by crowds of people. Each bundle represents a problem that society grapples with. The crowds are those people intimately effected by the problem. The hay pile is made up of countless “straws”; pieces of information specific to that problem, opinions from those only slightly effected by the problem, and larger “twigs” representing the symptoms that the problem emits.  

The symptoms or “twigs” are more noticeable because they are bigger than the individual pieces of information that surrounds it.  What ultimately happens is, many problem-solvers sort through the pile of information in search of the straws of truth but they are sidetracked by the larger branches of the symptoms and the emotional pleas of the crowd.  Symptoms associated with a problem can be just as painful as the problem that created it.  The difference is, a symptom can never be solved, it can only be ignored, masked or evaluated to determine its source.  As a people, we are constantly and easily distracted from the actual problem by the pain of the symptoms.  Just as a medical symptom such as a fever can become life-threatening, while the problem that causes the fever remains untreated; a symptom of a problem does the very same thing.  Over the years, we have become a society who avoids solving problems by focusing our attention on the symptoms we can never solve. 

Here are a few reasons that support this truth:  

  • Too much false information is being distributed like never before.
  • Trustworthy people are being swayed to support relativistic views so as not to be socially rejected.
  • Too many people in government with agendas that benefit from the problems of others. 

If you are among those who benefit from having a problem remain in society; it is too easy today to disseminate false content that will lead intelligent people into becoming emotionally bonded to the lies.  Even those who may not agree with the falsehoods will struggle to be able to discern the truth needed to solve the problem because it is hidden deep beneath the reams of emotion-driven content addressing the pains of the symptoms.  

Consider, when I was young the public had fewer sources of information.  We had maybe five television news channels which aired only three times a day for one hour.  When a societal problem was reported, regardless of which channel you listened to, the message was almost identical.  We were not told what to think, we were all given the same information and we decided what was true or false from an unbiased presentation of facts.  Not surprisingly, most people could identify the truth.  That is no longer the case.  We now have over a dozen news channels, an ever-growing pool of social media sources and access to countless internet sites, all at our fingertips every minute of every day.  As a result, there is no shortage of opinions while very few trustworthy sources of unquestionable information exist. 

The good news is all of this can be fixed. We need to begin holding our civic authorities accountable when they ignore the true societal problems.  Consequently, the people have to take full responsibility for their own problems.  Most of societal problems are truly just the self-inflicted symptoms that are pushed onto the backs of others.  The problem must be solved by the individuals, with society supporting correct behavior through commonly held laws and values associated with the truth. 

The public has to demand an unbiased news stream.  Journalist should not be allowed to pontificate their beliefs; we will do enough of that on our own through opt eds and social media.  They should be held to a level of only reporting honest facts; relying on the public to use those facts to form their own decisions.    

Finally, we have to quit whining and start winning.  Emotions do not solve problems.  Today, like never before, people emotionally lock down the doors that open their mind to new views.  People are being manipulated by emotion to the point of being closed minded to the truth.  The truth is more important than how we feel.  Whether we are happy or sad, peaceful or angry does not change the truth.  This is why people seek out therapist; some of us need an unbiased mediator to get past the emotions that fuel our bad thoughts, words and actions. 

We can do this, because once upon a time we proved we could!  Are we willing to do it again?

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others. 

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”

Passionate; Should Be a Good Thing, Right?

I love words!

Words are the basis for all written and spoken communications.  When we offer, the right words, at the right time, to the right audience they can create a wave of change spanning millenniums of human existence regardless of the language in which they were originally spoken.  The Right Words, Right Time and Right Audience culminates into the Law of the Message; another natural law and an example of the Power of the Wisdom of Three.  

The first and the key driver of that law, is a word not even incorporated in the sentence; the word, Truth.  The right words will always be true. Only meaningful statements of truths can endure the passage of time when relayed to the right person at the right time. 

Consider that we are living in a time when each person receives an overwhelming amount of daily information.  Televisions, computer programs, internet sites, texts and voice messaging are just a small list of the methods in which we receive spoken or written words.  As a matter of fact, worldwide we process over forty-four zettabytes of information.  If this number is correct, it means there are forty times more bytes of information than there are stars in the observable universe.  With this example of the star filled night, if only half of the stars represent truthful information and each star look just alike, you can begin to see why, in today’s world, it is so hard to identify the truth from the lies.

The second requirement is equally tricky; what is meant by the right time?  This speaks to the old adage, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”  In order to foster change in our selves; a person has to be in the right frame of mind to learn, profess and live the truth.  It is only then that they will accept the fact that they have been living a lie and become open to making the required changes in their life.  Timing is literally everything.

The receiver of the message will know when the time is right but the one providing the truth, may not. This is why it is so important for those who do profess the truths to do so daily and to as many people as possible. We may never know when an individual will be at their “right time”.

The third aspect of the law deals with the right audience.  Think back to the amount of data one consumes during the day.  It is coming from a multitude of sources and is being distributed to an even greater number of individual audiences.  It is the individual who controls the acceptance from the sources.  If I am trying to learn more about politics, during an election year, then I have to decide what information sources are going to provide me the most accurate information on the subject.  When the truth is revealed and I am open to accepting it, the impact can be life changing.  The same can be said for overcoming alcohol or drug abuse, extramarital affairs or any other vice carried on through living a life built around lies. This Law works every time, for every topic and for everyone once they are open to believing the truth.

Through my life’s journey, I’ve found that meaningful change, through the truth of wisdom, excites me!  The one word that defines this excitement the very best is “Passionate”.  Do you know the word “passion” comes from the Latin word, “patior”, which means to suffer?  The word ‘passionate’, literally means “willing to suffer” and it is one of those words where the modern application appears disconnected from the original meaning.  No longer does the word “passionate” conjure up images of suffering yet when we are truly passionate about something or someone, aren’t we willing to suffer for them?  That is the true essence of our modern day passions.

When it comes to learning, professing and living the truth we should all be willing to suffer so that our self and others can benefit from the positive changes the truth can bring into our lives.  Once anyone experiences the positive impact that the truth can have on their lives, they will never settle for the wrong information or the acceptable concessions that most people choose to live by.  Ethically and morally we owe it to those who depend on us to be passionate Solutionaries when it comes to the conveying the truth.       

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”

Risk verses Reward

Thinking ahead

I have been a student of life for nearly fifty-nine years.  I have read literally thousands of books, met thousands of people and traveled to many distant lands.  Each of these experiences have pushed, pulled and in some cases cut away the clay of my existing self.  During this lifelong transformation process I have come to understand the complexity of what is truly meant by the statement; risk verses reward. 

Following my mantra of the Power of the Wisdom of Three; once more we are given a blueprint comprised of only three dynamic components.  When we put them in context, they make the difficult simple.  We have to deal with the risk to reach the reward but it is what is in the middle that sets us apart. For even if we know the actual risk and we know the final reward, it is the unknown between the two that shapes who we really are.

In finance, risk verses reward is a common refrain.  The riskier the investment, the more reward potential on the other side.  It makes it sound simple to the investor when in essence the trail to the reward is a complex path littered with pitfalls, traps and snares.  That is why the reward is not guaranteed; most investors need to rely on the skills of an experienced, educated and ethical advisor; a Solutionary, to take them through the unknown obstacles.

In life, we encounter countless examples of risk verses reward situations; many of which go unnoticed; that is, until the reward becomes a peril.  This world presents us with innumerable invisible risks but the seen rewards are just as plentiful when we are willing and able to challenge the obstacles.  It is proven that we have to take risks if we desire the big rewards but only when you are free to make those choices can we control the outcomes of our desires. 

As I look at this pandemic world of today, I see a plethora of scared people unwilling to conquer their fear. Cowering people do not take risks because the fear of the unknown is greater than their will.  Likewise, they are barred from reaping the big rewards not because they are not free to do so but because they choose to be captive to their fears.  They are not willing to endure the potential of the imagined pain.  Conversely, a free society filled with reward driven people will never succumb to fear for very long.  It is not in their nature to do so.  That is why some people are thriving while others choose to remain captive.  The fearful will see opening up the economy as reckless, the reward driven will take on the risk, overcoming their fears to reach their just reward.  The fearful refuse to admit that one can be courageous without being reckless to themselves or others.  That is not the America of our ancestors.   

It is all about one’s definition of life.  Our ancestors faced perils every day but their dreams were worth the risks.  They knew that they may not realize their dreams but they were willing to die trying.  During the trek across the American wilderness of the 1800s; fathers, mothers and children journeyed into the perilous unknown, many never arriving to their destination.  If they could have seen what became of this great Country, I believe they would do it all again.  They are the reason we are still the Land of Free and the Home of the Brave.

I too choose to live free; as if every day maybe my last.  I am educated to the risks, willing to mitigate them where possible but willing to face them head on.  In my world, I refuse to live as if I am already dead because I’ve learned; there are worse things than death.               

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary” and Vice President, Education and Development at The American College of Financial Services

Success; What Does It Truly Mean?

Sphere of Success©

I mentor people whenever possible because I was blest to be mentored; benefiting greatly due to their efforts.  My mentors all had one thing in common, they all believed in the same learning structure; “Keeping It Simple”!  That must be why, to this day, I like learning things that never change.  The Natural Laws, eternal truths, never ever change.  This is why I can say, without question, we live is a three-dimensional world.  It is a Law; it has to happen.

For every earthly species, these dimensions take on many common characteristics.  Consider our human person; it has a body, mind and a soul.  Thus, we live our life addressing every aspect presented to us on a physical, mental and spiritual level.  Our approach to these aspects will be made personally, professionally and spiritually. Yes, Mr. or Mrs. Sceptic, this applies to you too.  People have no say in this, we cannot discard or add to these personas and each of us must learn to accept, understand and thrive within the confines of these realities. It is only when we accomplish this task well, we are said to be at peace. Finding “balance” in our life, we will be generally viewed as someone who has their life “all together”.   Success!!

Many people strive for this nirvana their entire life and are never able to reach this place of “all togetherness”.  They are good, hardworking, educated and focused people but something still seems to get in the way.  This main hurtle is due to one major obstacle; we simply never truly learn, then profess and finally live the truth.  For example, we pick and choose when we will hide, disown or ignore one or more of our three personas.  We chose to be a different person at church than who we are at the office or on the golf course.  We rarely intentionally bring all three personas together as one.  In other words, we go through life denying to ourselves; who we really are in respect to one of more of our personas.  This denial causes us to live a lie.  A secret you might want to write down is that long term success can never be reached through falsehoods we convince ourselves to be true.  As my mom use to say, “The truth will always be revealed.”

These natural personas are not man-made; we were created with all three and we will die with all three.  Human kind cannot change these to suit our own desires; they are part of the natural laws that we have to live with.  As with all-natural laws, they are all true but not all people like the truth.  Some spend their life in a state of internal conflict fighting a battle that they cannot win.  During these skirmishes, three common strategies are used.  

The most common is when we try to compartmentalize the three personas. It goes something like this; “When we work; we work, when we play; we play and when we pray; we pray”.  Thanks to our crazy litigious society, human resource departments struggle with this model because it might satisfy the attorneys but, in reality, the natural truth will always be revealed.  Business culture tries to keep the three completely separate, appropriate and very tidy.  It is like “trying to satisfy a three-headed beast.”  This plan never works long term because one or more of the three will eventually cross the imaginary line; we were not wired to be only one persona at a time.  The unity of the three make us who we are.

The second most common plan is for the person to try to intentionally remove, extinguish or ignore one or more of their personas.  The deleted persona of choice is routinely their spiritual nature.  We live in a secular culture that promotes disagreeing, discrediting and disavowing spirituality so denying this persona makes you one of the cool kids.  Picture your body represented as our three triangle circle above; if you remove one of the triangles everyone can tell something is missing. 

The last arrangement is where we spend all of our time focusing on only one persona.  This is the technique we use in the attempt to “get ahead” in business.  We rationalize that we will spend all of our time, talents and treasures on our professional nature which will make us successful, then, once the business is up and running, we will have more time for family, friends and God.  All I can say is, good luck with that one. What generally happens in this scenario is when the business person finally gets around to doing the same for the other two personas, they find that the people whom are touched by those parts of their life are no longer there. 

The truth is, we cannot successfully separate and then balance the three personas; our nature does not work well in this fragmented way.  The winning formula is to use the truth completely and in unity for each persona.  We must be deliberate in doing the right things; this requires learning, professing and living the truth while striving to do our very best and always treat others how we would want to be treated.

The triangle that assures that we can do all of this with a pure mission is the hierarchy of Love.  Once again, we must do this in unity and without segregation of choice.  We are called to love our Creator, our neighbor and our self as one.   When I am spending time with my family and friends; I am also benefiting my work life by relaxing and the activities that I am doing should also be pleasing to my God.  When I am working I do so to benefit my family and my God.  When I am being spiritual it is to bring me to a closer relationship with my God, my spouse, my parents, siblings, friends, co-workers and supervisors.  Victory can only be obtained by our ability to combine the three personas into a single cohesive unit; one well-rounded successful trinity of a person.     

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary” and Vice President, Education and Development at The American College of Financial Services

Love to the Third Power

“My grown child is in an abusive relationship and I don’t know what to do to fix it.”

“If only I did not have all these problems to deal with in my life, my anxieties would be manageable.”

“My son was shot and killed; we have to outlaw guns.”  

“Why does my spouse drink so much?”

“If things would finally go my way, I would not be so depressed and would not have to drink so much.”

“I work hard but I continue to be overlooked for a promotion.  What can I do to make my boss aware of this mistake?”

“Consumers are being taken advantage of every day by the unscrupulous people they hire to do work for them. We need to have a new regulation to protect them.”

These are common views and thoughts of many people all around the world.  Who knows, you might have said or felt these exact sentiments in your own life at one time or another.  Some people can get past these obstacles, moving on to great happiness and success, while others turn these hardships into a permanent way of life or worse, the reason for their ultimate demise.  What is it that makes the difference between flourishing out of despair and allowing the despair to control you very existence?

First let’s consider the views above.  What is the common denominator in all of those statements? 

If you said, that in each of those cases, bad behaviors, poor choices or habitual decisions were made you would be on the right track.  Look at them again and consider, who the person making the statement, views as the one in need of change?  Correct, in each of those statements the person feeling the anxiety, depression, or the injustice does not view themself as the one with the problem needing correcting; it is always someone or something else at fault for the pain that they or their loved ones are suffering.  In cases where a loved one is involved; it is not even that person who bears the responsibility.  In their mind; a non involved third party should be the blame or in some cases, our government should be responsible to fix it.  This is at the heart of the problem of selfishness. The problem makes me suffer but someone else is the blame and someone else should solve it so I don’t have to change.   

I have written in one of my books, “Selfishness causes blindness to the truth; it is only the brightness of Love to the Third Power that can remove the darkness of deception, bringing clarity of sight.  For in order to relieve our problems we must first make a wise and true decision based on a compiled list of the best choice options of which to select.  However, this successful choice process first requires that we know, experience, and believe the truth.”  

Love to the Third Power is the only true and selfless love.  Love found in the bodies, minds and souls of those who demonstrate a caring attitude through thoughts, words, and deeds for those who share a strong unwavering emotional bond with you; a bond consistent with the relationship shared by the three parties affected by every decision.  On a family level it would be your family members, the people of the community in which you live, and your spiritual family who share and teach your moral values.  On a business level it would be the businesses’ associates, the consumers and people impacted indirectly by the company’s product or service.  When all three are considered and satisfied before a decision is made, wisdom will prevail. 

If it is true that all of the people above share the same selfish views yet some of them are still able to rise above these hardships, what is the differentiator that makes that possible?  It is something that I call, Personal Growth toward Wisdom. 

Personal growth toward wisdom is simply a shift in attitude.  In order to succeed and overcome any hardship a person must first take ownership of their problems and solutions they choose. When your attitude shifts to others, personal growth and your wise decisions can begin to address the true problems causing the other issues needing to be changed.  It is true, that not all problems can be solved to our satisfaction but we have to face the truth that all man-made problems can be solved by man, even if the solution is not one that brings us the pleasure we desire or immediately relieves the pains of past bad choices.

To illustrate these realities, recently I was on a panel discussing the importance of freedom of choice.  A fellow panelist, a psycho-therapist, made a comment that I found extremely interesting and culturally revealing.  He exclaimed to the audience, “Rational people cannot make bad decisions.” 

This was immediately countered by a vocal audience member who shouted, “I do not agree with that statement.”  The physiologist asked him, “Please explain why you feel that way.” 

After being brought a microphone, “I decided to marry the wrong person; a crazy person who for many years caused tremendous pain and struggles to me and our family.  We finally decided to divorce.  It was the wrong decision to choose her to marry.” 

The therapist asked him, “What made it a mistake?”

Taking his time before answering, “I did not know at the time of our wedding that she was an alcoholic.  After the fact, she would never seek help and the problem only got worse as time went by.”

“So, what you are saying is that given the information you had at the time of the wedding you thought she was the right person?” 

“Yes but if I had known she was an alcoholic I would probably not have married her.” 

The therapist said with a smile, “You see, you didn’t make a bad decision.  Any rational person would have likely made the same decision given the information you had at the time. You are being overly hard on yourself.”

After hearing this, I could not stay quiet any longer.  “Excuse me, may I ask a few questions?”  Standing I asked the audience member, “Without getting too personal, how long did you date before your wedding date?”

“Three months.” 

“During those three months, did you ever witness her drinking to excess?”

“Oh sure, we attended a couple of pretty wild parties while we were dating.” 

“You didn’t have a problem with her abuse of alcohol while you were dating?  Why?”

“Well, to be honest, we were both drinking heavy while we were partying.  It was only later that I found out that she was drinking heavily almost every day, even while at work.” 

Turning to the therapist, I asked, “Do you consider yourself a good representation of a “rational person”? 

He loudly proclaimed, “Yes I do.”

“Would you have married someone after only dating three months?”

He admitted softly, “No.”

“Me either and given the other information this gentleman shared, if I were in his shoes, I too would admit to making a mistake for choosing her as my wife.  The true fact is, only after having experienced deep pain through the relationship, does he believe he did not have enough information to make the right choice.  If he would have spent a little more time getting to know this woman before making a lifelong commitment, he would have started to question his judgment sooner than later.”

The therapist silently nodded his head in acknowledgement.  

Turning back to the audience member, I asked, “One more question, did you learn from your mistake?” 

“I did but way too late!” As I turned to return to my seat the gentlemen shouted, “And I should have listened to my parents and some of my friends…they tried to warn me but I was too young and foolish to listen to them.”

I turned, walked down the aisle, stepped up to him, I shook his hand in thanks of his honesty and courage to share this personal hardship with everyone. 

We all make mistakes but some, if not most, can be avoided; many of the others can be righted.  First by using the lessons found in the Wisdom Formula and the Principles of Solomon; second by trusting the wisdom of those who reside in one of the three entities affected by your decision.  Those people will usually love and care about you to the level of Love to the Third Power. 

For those occasions when we do make a mistake, first realize it was probably a selfish act that caused the problem and begin the process of repair by selflessly considering others affected by your actions.  In addition to the great results that will follow as a result of the repair; you will also start to become a much better person by the lessons that you learned through the experience

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, Vice President, Business Development at The American College of Financial Services and the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”

Who Owns The Truth?

Since the beginning of time, humans have been questioning each other as to their reference of what they thought was the truth.  Parents have taught their children to always tell the truth whenever questioned.  As young adults, we begin to question any and all authority figures as to the level of truth they provide when it pertains to their area of control; sadly, the goal at that age drives us to spiral toward a selfish direction. It is here that we begin to learn only those truths that make sense to the life we wish to live.  All other truths are highly doubted. It isn’t until we are more mature adults, we begin to reflect back on all the truths we ignored and those which we chose to learn; trying to discern the ones that impacted or will impact the lives of those we care most about.  Only then do most of us begin to profess to the people most important in their lives, the truths we wished we had learned earlier in lives.  Finally, as elders, we are forced to face the final days of our lives, trying to live the truth in preparation of our final unknown journey. The young who witness this change recite, “Better safe than sorry…Right?” While the older wiser adults all say, “I wish I had done this much sooner.”

If this fleeting topic we call “the truth” is so important and we all struggle to possess it; then who owns it? 

The answer to this question should provide us the explanation as to why so many people live believing varying truths.  In today’s society, we have an interesting statement that leads people to believe there is no single truth for each situation, problem or circumstance.  When questioned as to whether what someone thought, said or did was based on a truth people quickly reply, “I don’t know but it is true for me.”  In other words, “the known truth doesn’t matter, only what I believe to be true matters.  This self-centered ideology changes the thought process of those who think this way.  It’s our way of stopping one’s self from further seeking the truth.  When we were kids we felt guilt when we lied to our parents. No one likes feeling guilty because it means I was wrong and I might like the results of the wrong that I am living. If I say this simple statement, “It’s true for me.” often enough they begin to believe that it absolves them of any guilt. What they fail to realize is it doesn’t work. This weak attempt to convince themselves that they already know the truth only blocks their mind from being open to even considering the real truth; they just continue living a lie.  

The bottom line is that “NO” human can own the truth, because they did not create it; they either know it, do not know it or completely ignore it. 

Throughout the millennium the human reality has struggled with the poor handling of the truth which can be narrowed down to only three types of behaviors. 

We can accidently choose wisely without knowing the truth.  

We can be completely mistaken about the truth but still arrive at the truth through the unforeseen consequences of our decision.  

Finally, we can know the truth but choose to ignore it completely for our own selfish reasons.  

This is why there will always be bad reasons for good ideas and good reasons for bad ideas.  This dilemma causes moral people to struggle to find common ground on ideological differences; without even considering the truth as it applies to the circumstance in question.  The truth is there but its lost in the mix we create through our selfish nature.  An individual’s reality can change but the truth remains constant regardless of our thoughts, reasons, or ideals.

Ownership by definition implies creation and control so if no human possesses this status, who would be able to claim the title of Creator of Truth? 

Before I let you answer that question consider that there are only three schools of thought as it pertains to the truth; Divine Natural Law (Spiritual), Secular Natural Law (Scientific) and Historic Natural Law (Natural).  Each and every truth imaginable will fall under one or more of these groups and in every possible truth known to mankind, people had no ownership in them.  They were not created by our hands.  In fact, we can only do three things with the truth; learn it, teach it and, only then, live it.  In no case can we create, own or control it.  Even when the very first person learns a truth, they never created, owned or controlled it.   They just discovered what was always there.  Just like the law of gravity; years before mankind understood it, named it and taught it; the species had to deal with it.  Sir Isaac Newton learned it, taught it and we all live it daily.  People have since learned how to work with it by flying and gliding through the air but no one can control the law.  We can only learn the dynamics of the application so we can harness our use to fit the parameters of the law. 

After all of this has been said, I hope you all figured out that the Creator of all things also made all the known truths.  Only the Creator can change what is a natural law or truth.  We never could and we never will so just tough it up and accept it.  The sooner we all understand this simple, yet for some a distasteful truth, the sooner the world will become a better place.      

Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”

If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.