Have you ever gone somewhere with someone you did not particularly care for? They were not a bad person; they just were not a good fit to your personality. You may not have even realized why you felt the way you did about them. Possibly the person was just not a lot of fun to be around, you might not have had much in common with them, or they just rubbed you the wrong way in general.
That kind of personal chemistry can make a one hour event feel like a week-long visit to a sadistic dentist.
It is sad but you just could not wait to be out of their presence for whatever the reason.
What if that person is you?
Have you ever considered that there is only one person that we have to be with every hour of every day and that person is our “self”? If our vision of that person is not good, life can be extremely rough and uncomfortable. On the other hand, once we possess a positive self-image of our self we can reach heights that other can only dream of. Those people have a healthy, honest and positive self-image. This image also creates the mind set we use to form the basis of all of our decisions.
Our image of our self is much more defining than any image we can build of others because we know more about our self than anyone else will and it goes much deeper than what can be seen or experienced by those who know us. Other people who develop an image of us base that image on our looks; including our gender, our intelligence, and our actions but these attributes are mainly displayed when we are in their physical presence. If we so choose, we can change or hide most of our unappealing appearances and outward signs for the limited time we are with them; however, that cannot be done when you live in the body in question.
A simple definition that most people develop when reflecting on a person’s self-image starts with their answer to the question “What do you believe people think about you?” This is a fairly good definition except it does not use the “Wisdom of Three” which allows us to get to the depth needed for us to have the honest, successful, positive self-image that we need in order to thrive.
Self-images are built in three layers:
- Self-image resulting from how the individual sees himself or herself.
- Self-image resulting from how others see the individual.
- Self-image resulting from how the individual perceives others see him or her.
It is worth noting that all three layers or characters may or may not be an accurate representation of the person. All, some, or none of them may be honest and true.
This is the number one reason people have poor self-images of themselves and it is extremely interesting that so few people understand this shortfall. We can “fake” our personas whenever we choose but remember, the person inside always knows the truth and the funny thing about “lies” is that once you catch someone in a lie, you feel you cannot trust that person any more. This truth of wisdom is inherent of your inner thoughts, words and deeds as well as to those of others. In other words, you can lie to others, you might even lie to yourself, but you will always know it is a lie and your trust in your self will always be diminished by the attempt of self-deception.
Whomever you cannot trust you will have a poor image of; that includes your “self”.
A positive, fulfilling, and accepting self-image will always result in a successful individual. A good self-image creates success not the other way around. Your success begins with “who” you are not “what” you are. Our inner peace begins with this completely trusting persona. We can only construct that desired image of our self through living the truthful image of who we are; reflecting the very same image on all three levels.
If this is my last post, I want all to know that there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.
Anthony “Tony” Boquet, Vice President / Adjunct Instructor at The American College of Financial Services and author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”