As a young man I was given the opportunity, by a mentor, to lead a group of sales associates. I turned down his offer three times before finally accepting it. The main reason that I declined it was of a selfish nature. All of the other managers in the organization were making less money than I and they were working substantially more hours to boot. It wasn’t until my mentor pointed out to me that my perceptions and biases toward the position were based solely on the talents, skills, and abilities of others, not on mine. It was at that moment that I decided to trust his faith in me and become a sales manager.
I was in that role from the time that I was twenty-three to twenty-six years old, and boy did I learn a lot about myself during those three years. Not only was I young, impetuous, and selfish but I knew nothing about leading people or what motivated them. I assumed that everyone wanted the same things that I did; to be the very best and be willing to work as hard as needed to make that happen. I could not imagine anyone working every day in a position that allowed you to earn as much money as you wanted only to settle for less than your best. I had an epiphany when I learned what the other salespeople were actually making. Sure, I understood that each of my team of seven could not all be number one, but I calculated that if each of them sold only seventy percent of what I did, they would all make substantially more money, and I would be the number one sales manager in the territory.
So, what went wrong?
I did!
During my first year in a management position, I showed everyone that I could really manage. I managed to fire the most people in the office. I managed to prove that my office door was not soundproof. I managed to develop an ulcer that generated a level of discomfort in me on the same level that I was causing to everyone else on my team; all the while, reaching the top 5 in company staff rankings. I was winning but at what cost?
That year, for Christmas, my team chipped in to get me a present. I was so honored as they all stood around the conference room table with the wrapped gift sitting in the middle. The most senior salesman and my closest friend prior to my taking the staff, spoke on behalf of the team. It was his words, the team’s gesture, and our united actions over the next three months that changed our lives and the lives of countless others throughout my career. I will never forget his words to me as long as I live.
“Tony, we care for you as a friend, but we despise you as a boss. You know this business better than I do, even though I have fifteen more years of experience. Your ability to teach others to sell and to make money in this business is above anything that I have ever seen. We are all making more money than we have ever made in our lives but with that said, something has to change.” He slid the present in front of me, stood back saying nothing more. As I ripped the paper from the box, I discovered it was the complete Tony Robbin’s “Personal Power” course. Before I could say anything, my friend and colleague spoke up once again. “We want you to complete this course over the next thirty days and to show you how committed we are, we will all take it with you but if you choose not to do this, we are all prepared to give you, our resignations. Merry Christmas and we will see you Monday morning for your answer.” They all left the room.
I was speechless, standing alone in that conference room staring down at my gift; a gift of love, a gift that came with a heavy price tag but also with a tremendous net worth. I did not need to think long about what my answer would be. I knew in my heart things had to change and the changes had to be in me.
By the end of the second year as staff manager, we once again beat all records but more importantly I began to change as a person and as a leader. I would like to tell you the changes happened over night, but it didn’t. Nearly forty years later, I am still a work in process. I would like to tell you that everything that we covered in the “Personal Power” course we mirrored and adopted completely but we didn’t but what we did, worked. Keeping a journal really does change the way you see your life. This course began my leadership journey which also included many other world-renowned programs. I would also like to tell you that I have this leadership thing down pat, but again, I did not then and today, I still do not. I am still growing, learning, and at times struggling but it has been worth it.
Having borne my personal history; I would like to summarize the lessons that I learned throughout this leadership journey. Looking back, it is really very simple; simple as the Power of the Wisdom of Three.
Leadership is about serving three groups of people; those whom you report to, the people who report to you, while at the same time serving your needs and those of your family. Amazing results begin to happen, when a leader understands the power of unifying the constituents of all three groups. Your service becomes everything but selfish.
For clarity, serving as a leader does not mean you are being dominated. It means you are doing what is expected of “you” so that those whom you lead can do what you expect of “them”. It is through what I call Selfless Servitude that we receive the benefits of successful leadership. It is said, “You cannot give more than 100%.” This is a law of nature, and you cannot change a law, you can only affect the law. Once you give 100% there is nothing left to give. Yet that is not the case when someone operates under Selfless Servitude. When you are giving of yourself, selflessly, you have a replenishing reserve. For instance, I can give selflessly 100% of myself to one person, turn immediately to the next person I serve; having another 100% of myself ready to distribute to them. Then a miracle happens, they begin passing along a percentage of what you gave to them.
In order to run this leadership engine at the capacity needed to sustain the bountiful power of Selfless Servitude one requires fuel from each of the three groups to keep your battery fully charged. To lead successfully, all three groups at the same time, at the level you and the groups desire, the leader and each of the teammates, must learn the process of walking the Three Steps of Servant Leadership: Agreement, Acceptance, and Endorsement. Each step has to successfully be trod so as to satisfy each of the three groups that you serve. Simply put, when a decision is made, unity must occur, the leader and their three groups have to be in total agreement, commit and deliver full acceptance, and perform with unwavering endorsement, as if the decision were their own.
If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.
Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”