The title of this article asks the same question posed in the classic song by the legend, Tina Turner. She goes on to ask, “What’s love, but a second-hand emotion?” “Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” Of course, those questions have been asked by anyone facing the pains of human affection.
Based on the depth of the love, a mother and her child would likely be the deepest. After all, the child is literally a part of her own body from the moment of conception. As a husband, whose wife had to have an abortion, due to an unviable fetus, I witnessed her heart being torn apart from the required procedure. Since that experience, we have both wondered, “How could anyone come to the decision of aborting a healthy pregnancy?”
To answer that question, I recently read three dozen testimonies of people who chose to abort a healthy but unplanned pregnancy and had no regrets of doing so, as well as three dozen testimonies of those who chose not to abort. After reviewing my notes, it became clear to me that they all had one thing in common. Love! Those who chose to abort a healthy fetus felt no love for the infant and in some cases, despised it. While, those who kept the child admitted having deep love for the new life. In some cases, more than even their own life.
It is all about Love!! With abortion being such a hot and divisive topic, I’ve never read or heard anyone reach this conclusion. Could all the people, fighting for the right to abort a pregnancy, actually feel no love for the life of another?
The mothers who feel love for their potential child create a strong emotional bond, sometimes even before confirmation of conception takes place. Existing parents rarely abort future children. Psychologists believe that the affection shown and felt through their other children fosters the environment of love and care missing from those who choose an abortion.
At first, I assumed that economic concerns would’ve been present in the majority of the cases, and they were in some. However, when it was present, it did not influence the decision to the level of love. Raising a child is expensive, and financial stability plays a significant role, but when love is present, the cost is dealt with. Sadly, when love of the child is not present, the single mother or the couple, individually prioritize their own mental, physical, and financial health, above that of their baby.
The dynamics of the relationship also has an effect on the decision, but surprisingly it was not the deciding factor. Some couples made joint decisions based on their love for each other but when the love of the baby was mentioned, the decision was birth or adoption, never abortion.
When we define the role of a mother it can be done with just one word: Selfless. If we try to explain the details that make up a selfless mother, we quickly find that it is much more complicated than just a woman who bears and / or rears a child. The responsibilities go much deeper, as does the breadth of the love required, to deliver on all the commitments that come with the title of selfless mother.
If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.
Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”